Do not pass go.

Upon landing in California, it is simply imperative that you head to the nearest In-N-Out Burger for a fix. This is particularly true if you've been up since 1 AM California time and haven't eaten in thirteen hours.

After picking up my rental car at the San Francisco airport (I was given a snappy little mustard-yellow Ford Focus), I swung into the city to collect Jeremy and Miriam from their friend's place, and we headed across the Golden Gate bridge and up 101 toward Sonoma.

I thought I would have to wait till Petaluma for my fix, but Jeremy spied an outpost in Marin City, and we made quick work of pulling off the freeway and into a parking spot. We had excellent timing, too - the line was out the door by the time we put our order in: a double, no cheese, animal style for me, fries and a shake for Miriam, and a cheeseburger for Jeremy.

My burger was, of course, delicious. "Animal style" (one of In-N-Out's many secret menu options) means that your patties have been fried in mustard and onions, and that extra sauce has been added to your sandwich. (You can also order fries this way, in which case they come topped with special sauce and mustardy onions.) The shake was thick and creamy and delightfully pink (a good thing, as it was strawberry), and the fries were, as usual, ok - but not great.

Who cares? When they can make a burger this damn tasty, I don't need no stinkin' fries.